Worry so bad and so big that it swallows me up, swishes me about and spits me hard to the ground.
I worry that things won’t work out for me.
That I won’t make it. Wont ever get my degree.
I’ll be poor and sad like my family.
That everyone I love will leave me.
That he will realize that I am not special and fall out of love with me. Leave me. Not want a future with me. I worry he thinks that way now.
I worry and I worry and worry worry. The anxieties of it all rushing about like tornados on sand. Huge messes of sand that you can never quite clean up. Nity gritty pieces of sand- in my cuts and insecurities.